I was in a newish relationship with a girl I could only dream to be with when I found out that I had low fertility, and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. The feeling of being incomplete as a man at first was overwhelming, and the thought that I may never have a child was indescribable. I almost had to “come to terms “ with the fact that I wasn’t going to be a dad. That I was only 60% a man. I started to think that maybe my relationship will fail due to this. Maybe she will leave me and find a man that can give her the child she wants. This in truth was never the case, she was stronger at this point in our relationship than I was. Being from a large family both on my fathers and mothers side seemed to make the situation even more unbearable, and being of an age where the majority of my friends were having their second child with ease made it ever more difficult. I managed to speak after sometime of bottling all and any feelings up to my two closest friends but they understandably found it difficult to relate. They would often just say “it’ll happen mate, you’ll be a dad one day”. I knew they cared, but didn’t know how to handle the situation, I think most men don’t. My partner was understanding and very positive about our future together. The usual discussions were had. We could always adopt, we could foster, anything to give a child a life that all children deserve. Sperm donors were mentioned once, never again! This personally made my blood boil somewhat, for me that felt like a path to having a baby that wouldn’t be mine with my partner. After plenty of research my now fiancé had read up a lot on the “potential” benefits of acupuncture in fertility. My background as an engineer kept telling me no, that it’s not scientific, that it is purely a placebo. How wrong I was, and I hate being wrong! After consistent acupuncture treatments my now wife and I have fallen pregnant, and we both feel that our time having acupuncture has very much played a major and integral part of this happening. Feelings from my point have changed massively. From feeling like I was useless as a man, to pure joy and excitement. Still at times I have the thought of how I am going to manage as a father at what I consider being a bit “late to the game”. All I know now is that everything will be fine, I still reflect on the feelings that I had when “all was doomed”. I have since discovered that I was actually far from on my own when it came to feeling like I did. Four men that I know, three of which I grew up around, have also been in similar situations. As a whole we agree that having someone to talk too is the key. Be it a supportive partner, family, or an acupuncturist.
- Affiliations: Professional Standards Authority
- British Acupuncture Council Member